We never see you…

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Mom: “We never see you, we don’t know anything about, what’s going on in your life”. Me: “I f…ing LIVE here!?!”

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Selfie

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On my way out the door, when dad stormes out the kitchen, wearing his glasses and holding the remote control in his hand: “Hey! What is a selfie?”. Me: “That is when you take a picture of yourself with your phone”. Dad, looking a bit puzzled: “Oh… O.K.”, and goes back to the kitchen.

More than one exit

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Waking up early – tjek
Getting dressed – tjek
Remembering to lock the door – tjek
Driving of to work – tjek.

Text from mom a couple of hours later: “Great invention having more that one exit from a house, when you are being locked inside like that”.

Som sort of game?

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Walks in to the kitchen one morning, where dad is sitting at the table, reading the paper, looking a bit puzzled: “Oh, there you are. Maybe you can help me. What is a blow job? Some sort of game?”

Returning home

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Returning home from a travel. As soon as I enter the house, I have to point out on a map exactly where I have been – you know, to settle their weeklong discussion on the matter.

Dad just bragged

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Me: “Hi mom. Due to budget cuts, I was fired from my job today”. Mom, after a long pause: “Damn. Dad just bragged about you to the family yesterday”.

Guests

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When your parent’s having guests over for dinner means that you are having guest over for dinner…

Dad’s fortress

wooden-pallets-1258486_1920Arriving home in the evening and sees dad stacking hundreds of pallets out on the lawn. Me: “Dad? What are you doing?”. Dad, with a big smile on his face: “I’m building a fortress!”

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